


what will kill me in the end

by CRIMSONBRUXA



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: (kind of), Character Study, Drabble, Gen, M/M, implied DonnieSeth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-22
Updated: 2014-05-22
Packaged: 2018-01-26 02:34:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1671524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CRIMSONBRUXA/pseuds/CRIMSONBRUXA
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"The worst part isn't the isolation." Donnie Gill reflects from within the walls of the Sandbox.</p>
            </blockquote>





	what will kill me in the end

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



Donnie spends a lot of time being angry a lot of things. Mostly himself, really, but he wasn’t about to deny himself the pleasure of hating everything else, too. It was the only comfort he had left, living with the idea that it’s not just him who was fucked up; the rest of the world wasn’t too far behind.

The days seem eternal at the Sandbox. He doesn’t really keep track of them - he doesn’t need to, really - but he could tell that he hasn’t been here for as long as it’s seemed.

The worst part isn’t the isolation; that definitely sucked, but he was used to it. It was what his life was like before the academy, before he met Seth, and it was what he was sure the rest of his life was destined to be, too.

The worst part wasn’t even the constant surveillance or being treated like some kind of experiment. Which was pretty hilarious and absolutely terrifying - he could only imagine what they would do to him if they knew the extent to which his newfound abilities ran.

But all of that, Donnie could deal with. He was dealing with it just fine.

What he couldn’t live with was the nightmares. Terrifying, guilt-ridden scenes of people freezing to death, being pummeled with chunks of ice and screaming for their lives. He would wake in the middle of the night and, unable to return to sleep, stare at the tiles in the ceiling of his room until it was time for breakfast.

Or worse, he’d close his eyes and dream the dreams he’d had before. They were more like nightmares now, filled with Seth and high hopes and memories.

He was haunted and he was trapped and the only person who could do anything about it, was gone.

He places his hand to water when he is sure no one is watching - it’s the easiest evidence to dispose of, and the only way to learn anything about his abilities without raising suspicion.

He watches as hydrogen bonds form between the molecules and the liquid solidifies into an ice crystal beneath his fingers, amazed and perplexed by how impossible it all was, and asks himself if it was worth it.


End file.
